Birth number 1

I have tried to block it out but there may be some women out there feeling anxious about childbirth and I’d like to reassure you that – compared to what comes afterwards – it’s easy! I have been insane enough to do it THREE times and each one was unique.

Let me start with my eldest. I was convinced during my pregnancy that I would need an emergency caesarian like my mum but that I would die 🙁 I gave absolutely no thought to after the birth because I honestly didn’t think I’d be around. I had things set up so that my mum and sister had the bits they’d need to take care of him, I’d said my goodbyes.

I had contractions like period pains from just after midnight. I bounced on my giant purple ball, had a bath, took paracetamol. By mid afternoon I thought the pain was bad so my dad took me to hospital. The midwife said there was no point examining me because I was nowhere near labour. Dad said I needed to recalibrate my pain scale! I spent the next few hours at home, in pain. By the next midnight I was exhausted and the pain was worse so I went back to hospital and was told I was only 4cm dilated. I begged for pain relief and tried some gas and air. The first few puffs did nothing and I told my mum it was ‘rubbish’ then it kicked in and was like being very drunk! The midwife then offered me pethidine to help me sleep and sent everyone home. Five minutes later my waters broke…

The pain intensified and I’m not ashamed to say I screamed. A LOT. Until the midwife told me to shut up. After a couple of hours she said to call my birthing partner so my sister came back. Then they decided to do an episiotomy and when they found out she hadn’t had kids, they said ‘you don’t want to see this’ and sent her away again. I didn’t want to be there either! They kept telling me to push but I wasn’t getting any urge to do so and didn’t really know what I was doing (maybe due to the drugs). Then they said they would give it a few more pushes then send me to an operating theatre to use forceps.

I gathered all the strength I had and pushed Matthew out somehow. I remember thinking ‘I have to get him out safely, it’s the only thing I can do for him’. Plus I remember my toe nail varnish 🙂 (priorities!). He was rushed off to give him oxygen for a couple of minutes then returned to me. The midwife apologised for being unsympathetic and admitted he had a big head and was a big weight (especially for my usually 7 stone frame).